It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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