you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
