Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize