She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
