We got so high we made milksteak
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
