Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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