Dual....:-)
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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