I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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