My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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