my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize