i permit you to call me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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