she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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