i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
