ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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