Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
