Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
