i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
