I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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