I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
