And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
