If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
