nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize