I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
