why didn't you poke me back
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
