there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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