Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
