what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
