we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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