So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
