watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
