I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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