Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
