Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
