Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
