Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
