I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
