he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All the doctor said was why
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
