The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
