Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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