On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
