I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize