As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
