My first STD was from a foam party
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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