Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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(714): View more from California

you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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(303): View more from Colorado

im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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(613): View more from Ontario

The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame

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(410): View more from Maryland

Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.

(443): View more from Maryland

Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.

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(979): View more from Texas

I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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(630): View more from Illinois

Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing

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(360): View more from Washington

I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.

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