You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize