Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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