I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
