Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
