Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
