im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize