Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
