3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
