Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
