I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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