i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am spending my child support on dildos
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
