I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we made out on top of his cat.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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