have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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