That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
