hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
