U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was like his penis was on wheels.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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