you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
