Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Pants are for mortals
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
