If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
