I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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