ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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