yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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