Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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