its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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