I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
