I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
