I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish my penis had an off switch
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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