Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
